


Fall In You (WORKING TITLE)

by SlytherinSlumber



Category: SHINee, Super Junior
Genre: Brothers, Dissociation, Gay, Incest, Kyuhyun - Freeform, Lee Jinki - Freeform, M/M, Mental Illness, Onew - Freeform, SHINee - Freeform, SJ, Shawol - Freeform, Super Junior - Freeform, alcohol use, jinki - Freeform, suju - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2018-11-19 04:24:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11305623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinSlumber/pseuds/SlytherinSlumber
Summary: Kyuhyun could taste the aura of Onew on his tongue just by breathing in the hot air forming between them, and he felt his mouth grow wet. Wet with desire, and Kyuhyun couldn’t admit that, couldn’t allow himself to even think about that. He fought his guttural, visceral attraction to the gorgeous boy before him, all because of one simple word.“Brothers, Jinki-ah. We are brothers."





	1. Brothers

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM, MOOD DISORDERS/DISSOCIATION, FULL SIBLING (BROTHER) INCEST, ALCOHOL USE, SMUT
> 
> ...hello...
> 
> I regret nothing (and so much, at the same time). 
> 
> This is sort of AU, and sort of not AU. Like imagine that nothing is different, except that Kyuhyun and Jinki are full brothers, in different groups within SM entertainment, just the same way that Jessica (formerly of SNSD) and Krystal (of f(x)) were. 
> 
> Oh, and in case you didn't know, Onew is a stage name, his real name being Jinki. I know I use both names in the fic, but it just doesn't make sense for Kyuhyun to call his sibling by a fake name, you know?  
> I am also well aware that this is a rather odd pairing but I just think they look a lot alike, and I consider them the best vocalists in their respective groups (no shade at Jonghyun or Yesung or anything, I adore those two as well). IDK their every interaction is adorable ok?!
> 
> I read and reply to every comment so PLEASE let me know what you think! This is pretty much a one shot that I just split into a few chapters to separate it from being one giant chunk of text. Each chapter is like a page long (I'm a fan of bite sized pieces at a time- it's way less intimidating!)  
>  I hope you enjoy.
> 
> -A

 

        “This is wrong, Jinki-ah” Kyuhyun groaned. The two men stood in darkness, their arms holding, caressing, and pawing at each other. They didn’t make eye contact.

“I don’t care,” Onew murmured out. He absentmindedly pulled off his t shirt and tossed it to the side. Kyuhyun whined at the younger, and his temptation.

Their every breath fueled the intensity of the space of energy surrounding and between the two. The anticipation was palpable. Kyuhyun could taste the aura of Onew on his tongue just by breathing in the hot air forming between them, and he felt his mouth grow wet. Wet with desire, and Kyuhyun couldn’t admit that, couldn’t allow himself to even think about that. He fought his guttural, visceral attraction to the gorgeous boy before him, all because of one simple word.

“Brothers, Jinki-ah. We are brothers. This is so wrong,” Kyuhyun replied. Although Onew knew Super Junior’s maknae was right, he couldn’t help but rationalize his feelings.

“How can this be wrong when it feels so good though?” Onew breathed. He couldn't stand it any longer and allowed his body full control, leaning in closet to his hyung. Kyuhyun had just enough willpower to turn his head, which made Onew kiss the soft underside of the man's neck instead. They breathed together, sharing each other’s warmth, cradling each other in each other’s arms.

Kyuhyun felt sick, like he was going to puke- from nervousness or from the sheer magnitude of the situation, he wasn’t sure. He felt like he was hanging upside down, suspended in time, unable to move.

In the small, dark bedroom, Onew ushered Kyuhyun over to the wall and pressed his body up against his brother’s. Somewhere deep down, Onew knew that he was doing the same thing to his brother that he was doing to himself- smothering their sin in each other, so that the other was all they could see.

Onew rubbed his body along Kyuhyun’s, hard, grinding in rhythmic strokes. He smirked when his hyung began to moan. Unable to block out the waves of pleasure, Kyuhyun closed his eyes and instinctively leaned into his brothers advances.

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” Onew whispered as he kissed his hyung’s neck. Kyuhyun couldn’t stop his body from reciprocating, but he also couldn’t stop himself from speaking out.

“Disgusting… this is… so… wrong… sick…” Kyuhyun whimpered between sighs of pure pleasure.

Onew hung his head in shame and went limp. Disgusting. Wrong. Sick. The words echoed, painfully reverberating in his consciousness, the harsh rejection from the person he loved the most felt like the lashes of a whip.

        He pulled away, and reached down to grab the shirt that he has discarded. He turned to leave without a word, but Kyuhyun couldn't let that happen.

       “Jinki, come on, don’t be like that. You know I'm right,” he pled. He couldn't handle if his dongsaeng was upset with him-he loved him too much.

       “I don't care what's ‘right’ though,” Onew retorted as he fumbled to put his shirt back on.

       “I don't even like boys,” Kyuhyun argued feebly.

       “I’m not just some boy though, hyung! I'm someone you say that you love. You're supposed to do anything for your family,” he continued with tears in his eyes. “I’d do anything for you!” He stormed out of the room before Kyuhyun could even reply.

 


	2. Onew Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: self harm, mental illness

Onew couldn’t believe how stupid and naive he was. Not only was Kyuhyun not gay, he was his brother. How sick and twisted could he possibly be?! How could he actually believe that Kyuhyun, his gorgeous, popular, amazingly talented and widely loved hyung could actually be attracted to his own little brother, of all people? Onew hung his head in shame, his tears swept away and down his face with the water of his shower. He was beyond mortified, and let the hot water burn his face to prevent him from opening his eyes, for fear that he might catch a glimpse of his own reflection in the bathroom lighting. He shivered despite the warmth of his hot shower and buried his hands in his face, briefly wondering if he could asphyxiate himself if he tried hard enough. How could he be burning and freezing at the same time? He wasn't sure; all he knew was that he was. 

Onew was too shellshocked to do anything other than let himself cry; screaming required some amount of life that he just didn't have. Completely paralyzed, apart from the deep breaths of heavily steamed hot air that sat heavy in his lungs, he became a prisoner to the shame that occupied his body.

He turned off the water and got out of the shower, thankful that the heat of the steam had fogged up the mirror. He was too ashamed to look at himself in the mirror. Not only had he humiliated himself, he had no idea what his rash actions had done to his relationship as brothers. 

Would Kyuhyun refuse to see him ever again? His mind always reached for the worst, but perhaps that would be for the best. How could Onew even show his face to his brother ever again after what he’d done? Just thinking about Kyuhyun brought back memories of his face and the grimace he displayed in response to Onew’s advancements. 

Onew couldn’t live without Kyuhyun, this much he was absolutely sure of, and his mind fell down the rabbit hole of envisioning what his life would be like should that hole be left in his heart permanently. A wave of nausea crashed over him and he dry heaved violently. His hands shook as threw back the shower curtain and he reached out to clutch a towel for support. When he stepped out of the shower, he thought his knees might give in.

He was spiraling, spiraling, lost, control no longer a concept. He began to hyperventilate, and his heart felt like each beat would be its last. Good. He wanted it to. 

In the blink of an eye, his body became too heavy, too much work to be responsible for. With no life force left, gravity became his only guiding force and brought him crashing down to the floor. Who knows how long had passed before Onew could feel the cold bathroom tiles beneath him nudge him back towards reality, but his eyes did begin to focus, and he slowly became aware of his surroundings. 

It was right there next to him. Right there. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to grab the all too familiar object from the shower and hurled it across the room. It hit the wall in a violent impact, breaking into its component pieces. He couldn't stop himself. Onew was beyond rationale, beyond thought, and operated in complete survival mode as his unconscious attempted to keep him going. He crawled like a dying animal across the floor, and before he knew it, the blades of the broken razor were clutched tightly between his shaking fingers. A dangerous habit he hadn't resorted to in years, he desperately grasped for control, letting his blood flow into an ocean that barely drowned out the pain.


	3. Kyuhyun Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: alcohol use/abuse

Onew and Kyuhyun were kissing with a fervent passion, as if the rest of the world didn't exist or else meant nothing. Kyuhyun pushed his dongsaeng backwards so that he laid in bed. He climbed on top of Onew and smirked in excited anticipation. Onew bit his lip as he reached up to pull his hyung down and Kyuhyun subtlety chuckled at the impatient gesture. Their lips were just about to meet again. It moved in slow motion, closer and closer when-

_WOAH_. Kyuhyun shot up from his sleeping position, covered in sweat. He panted, his racing heart waking him up faster.

_What in God’s name?_ Kyuhyun’s confusion was quickly exchanged for disgust. _Was I actually dreaming about… ?_ He didn't allow himself to finish the thought before he quickly tore the sheets off and tossed them to the side, only to discover something even more telling.

Rock hard and straight up, as if to give him a standing ovation, his erection was a full on _rager_ . Kyuhyun quickly replayed the memory of his dream and involuntarily blushed, his white cheeks full and red. He scrunched himself up into a ball, hiding from his own embarrassment. Well, just because he dreamt about it, didn't mean he wanted it, right? This situation was just brought to his attention and he’d been worrying about it all day so it'd be normal for him to dream of… right? Kyuhyun wrestled with his own subconscious. No matter which way he spun it, he knew that even if he was just dreaming about something in his recent thoughts doesn't explain why it felt _so good._ Kyuhyun physically shuddered and felt the memory’s residual shock waves pulse through his member, only reinforcing his situation.

He grew agitated. How could his mind and body disagree so fundamentally and still coexist? Kyuhyun felt a quick jolt of adrenaline as he considered that he could be going crazy.

_Fuck this_ he half thought, half muttered to himself as he hastily got out of bed. He  crossed the room and opened his sock drawer to retrieve his stash of whiskey. He kept it there in case of emergency, and if this wasn’t an emergency, he didn’t know what was. He collapsed on his side back into bed, alternating between lazily sipping and purposefully chugging the booze, and felt his whole body relaxing more with each swallow.

He thought about his brother, their encounter, how this whole dilemma started. He repressed the memory, but the alcohol swept all his inhibitions away, allowing him to remember exactly how he felt. Although he felt overwhelming anxiety, he also felt _great._ Really, great. Every one of his brothers touches sent taboo thrills chasing after each other, each more satisfying and terrifying than the last. Like a rollercoaster ride, there was fear and there was ecstasy somehow existing in the same space, and it was _glorious._ He took another gulp of whiskey. He could no longer deny his true desires, at least to himself, in the privacy of his alcohol riddled mind. He knew that he could've given in to his brother’s advances right then and there- said to hell with morals and pick the forbidden fruit and it would've felt… oh, he didn't want to think about how he _knew_ it would've felt. He rolled over and continued the debate with himself until he gave in fully and passed out.

 


	4. A Real Mess

Onew awoke early the next morning to a real mess. He had collapsed in his bathroom, the bright light blinding him as he came to his senses. There was blood everywhere, and if he didn’t know better, he would’ve thought he stumbled upon a homicide. He sighed as he reached under the sink for the bleach and a sponge, but he was grateful for the distraction. He decided to clean up his surroundings before taking care of himself. _Hah_. He scoffed darkly at the ironic circumstances that mimicked the pattern of his life. He poured and scrubbed, poured and scrubbed, throughout the early morning sunrise, and when dawn came he became confused as to where the water was leaking from. He only realized that he had been crying when he came face to face with his reflection in the giant mirror.

_Wow. How pathetic._ No matter how dark things got, he wasn't about to get sucked down the hole of self pity. Roughly clearing his face of tears, he turned on the sink and ran his massacred arms beneath the cold water. He felt nothing. He'd been there, and done that plenty of times before, true, but this superficial pain was nothing but a small distraction from the pain that claimed his heart. He discarded his clothes, too exhausted to take a shower and changed into the first articles of clothing he touched in his pajama drawer: a large oversize sweatshirt, and knit shorts that went to the knee. He tried hard not to think about the fact that they were, in fact Kyuhyun’s shorts, given to Onew as hand me downs.

He crawled into bed, his back and neck sore from sleeping on the floor and subsequently scrubbing it clean and reached for his phone. Just a text from Minho, nothing important. He didn't care; he wasn't going to answer. Maybe some part of him was truly masochistic, because he softly played his hyung’s solo album on shuffle. “ _One Confession.”_ Ouch. _Too soon,_ he thought. He closed his eyes and let himself surrender to the sweet repose of sleep.

Meanwhile…


	5. Displaced and Disordered

 

Kyuhyun was jarred awake, for the second time no less. This time, he was jerked into consciousness by his phone ringing. It was Ryeowook’s ringtone. He reached under his pillow and pressed the lock button without even looking. In his haze of sleep, the memory of the previous day slowly came back to him. Panic began to rise in him, but this time, he leaned over the bed and puked into his trash can. He stared at his own sick and fell into a mental reality check. Was this what he had become now? A hyung that wakes up, hungover, unhappy and sexually frustrated? Although he had just rid himself of the alcohol, he knew the pit in his stomach would go nowhere until he and his dongsaeng were on good terms. He squinted and felt the bright light of his iPhone screen bringing on his inevitable headache. He quickly typed out a text message to his brother and got up to take a shower, hitting send before he could change his mind.

  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  


Onew began to stir at the sound of a text notification.

 

Text message: **Maknae pretty boy**

_Hyung-ah! Minho-hyung says he hasn't heard from you since yesterday. Are you okay?_

  
  


Onew ignored Taemin, but saw that he had missed another text. His eyes widened in horror

 

Text message: **Kyu-Hyung**

_I'm coming to see you. I can't stand it when we're on bad terms. Don't bother trying to stop me. I'll be there soon._

 

_Oh my god O_ new thought, a rush of panic flooding him from every side. He checked the timestamp on the message and saw that it was sent 38 minutes ago. Kyuhyun would be there any second.

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  


He took a breath before he walked in the door, even though he knew that Onew had already heard him enter SHINee’s dorm. Hesitantly, he opened the door to Onew’s room and discovered the boy curled into a ball in the middle of his bed, facing away from the door.

“Jinki-ah?” Kyuhyun broke the silence.

“Please, will you at least look at me?”

Onew quickly wiped away the fresh tears that blurred his vision, and sat upright to face Kyuhyun. His hyung was startled at first glance.

“What happened to you? You look terrible!” Kyuhyun exclaimed. The boy was pale as a ghost and the bags underneath his normally smiley eyes were shaded in purple.

He rolled his eyes. “Like you're one to talk.” Onew didn’t need to ask to know that his hyung was hungover and definitely feeling it.

Kyuhyun ignored the insult. “You gonna stay mad at me forever?” He asked.

“Mad at you? No, I'm not mad at you,” Onew explained boldly. “I’m just mad at myself… shoulda kept my damn hands to myself...” _with a blade,_ “you did nothing wrong… this whole thing is on me,” _stupid, stupid, stupid,_ the word echoed around his head as he stared off into space.

“Are we okay? You and I?” If that was the case, Kyuhyun wasn't picking up on it.

“We're okay,” Onew said, dropping the false strength. He was too exhausted and his spirit was too broken to maintain the facade. “ _Of course_ we’re okay. We’ll always be okay, hyung… “ his weak smile disappeared in favor of a lifeless blank look, as if he were transfixed on some area of empty space. “There's nothing you could say or do that would keep me away from you, or make me love you any less… I couldn’t do it even if I tried.” Onew was defeated and spoke in a dejected tone. Just hearing the truth spoken out loud stung, and from his own mouth no less.

Kyuhyun’s heart broke at the little ones confession. “Then why are you… sad?” Kyuhyun asked even though he knew this wasn't quite the right word. Onew was giving him a familiar look, like he was 8 years old again.

He broke out of his trance to smile at the elder weakly and willed his voice to remain steady. “Just because _we’re_ okay doesn't mean that I am.”

Kyuhyun didn't need to ask what he meant because the implications were written all over his dongsaeng’s face. Their reconciliation brought back the missing pieces of Onew's broken heart, but it remained in fragments. Displaced and disordered, Onew doubted that the pieces would ever find their way back to being whole again.

Kyuhyun didn't know what to say, and instead moved to join Onew in his bed. The best he could do in this moment was just to be there with his dongsaeng. He gently took the boy's shoulders and placed his arm around Onew, pulling them back to lay together. Onew didn’t bother resisting. He surrendered, knowing he was too weak, both mentally and physically, to even try to resist. He nestled into Kyuhyun’s neck and chest, but kept it strictly brotherly. He closed his eyes and focused purely on the warmth radiating from the young man. The two lay there for a few minutes in silence. But it wasn't long before Onew’s mind began to wander, even imagining for the briefest of moments that they were together, and that his hyung wanted him in the same way that he did. It was so wonderful, just imagining it brought tears to his eyes.

“I'm sorry! I'm sorry- I can't, I can't do this!” Onew cried as he abruptly pulled away from his brother and sat up.

Kyuhyun covered his face with his hands, still laying down. In a low voice, he slowly said “Jinki-ah, how can you want me in that… like that… ?!” He stammered out. “I am your _brother_. Your _hyung_ \- not your bandmate, not your label mate, not your friend or coworker. We are _full blooded siblings_! I don't…” Kyuhyun lamented after sitting up.

Onew was facing the opposite direction. “I don’t know,” his voice broke into whispered pains. He frowned into the emptiness, “it hurts… you should go…”

Kyuhyun reached out to touch Onew’s arm, and once he had a strong grip, he could feel the boy shaking. The pain was white hot, but it was such a loud and _wonderful_ distraction that Onew didn’t pull away.

It was too late to hide it though, because Kyuhyun had just noticed the red stains that were barely visible through Onew’s dark grey shirt. Kyuhyun rolled up the boys sleeve, revealing the criss crossing slices that covered his arm, and Onew froze.

Kyuhyun’s heart stopped, followed by a blinding headrush. In that moment, the pieces of the puzzle fell into place and the picture it revealed delivered a devastating blow. Onew wasn’t giving him the look of just any lost little kid; he was giving Kyuhyun a look that meant something specific, a look that was familiar because he knew what it meant but hadn’t seen since in ages. A look that meant two things _._

_I’m lost. Help._


	6. Somehow Too Much, and Nothing at All

Kyuhyun launched himself down the hallway and into the bathroom before violently puking into the toilet. Some small part of him couldn’t believe he had anything in his stomach at all. Kyuhyun stopped to catch his breath, before the thoughts in his head organized and became coherent.

  
_Selfish_. Getting drunk, feeling sorry for himself while his brother had been _hurting himself just to pull himself back together because of what he had done_ ; while his brother, the person he loved more than anyone or anything in the entire work had been dissociating, for the first time in _years_. How could he not notice?! He felt panic like he never had before, and ran back down the hall to Onew. 

He was just sitting. In the same position he was before; unmoving, expressionless, empty. Dissociated.

  
Kyuhyun rushed over and held his brothers blank face in his hands. “Jinki-ah! I'm so sorry! I did this to you… this is all my fault… all my fault,” Kyuhyun cried. He held the boy to him tighter than he ever had, just the same way he did when they were young boys, and Kyuhyun would discover his brother in the same exact state. Frozen in time, unable to pick up and put the fragmented pieces of himself back together, Kyuhyun was always there to protect and comfort his little brother when he was at his most vulnerable. Except this time, he was the cause, not the help.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m sorry  
Voices  
No, not voices  
One voice  
Both far away and close  
everywhere and nowhere

Singing  
Nothing made any sense, it was  
Somehow too much,  
and  
nothing at all  
Pieces of reality passing by  
a Kaleidoscope of mismatches and nonsense  
Both broken and whole  
And he just kept singing

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

  
For the rest of the day, Kyuhyun took care of his dongsaeng. He cleaned the boys wounds, and wrapped both forearms with fresh bandages. He made lunch and dinner. He made tea, and fed the boy himself while he sang, the same way he used to when young Jinki would be trapped inside his hellish attacks of terror and panic. He texted the rest of SHINee from Onew’s phone and Super Junior from his own phone, telling both groups that they were contagiously sick in SHINee’s dorm. He sang and talked to the boy, and slowly coaxed him back from his dissociated state, picking up and putting back together the pieces he knew he was responsible for breaking.

  
Onew hadn't spoken much, but Kyuhyun could tell that his brother was intact and mentally aware by the time he went to tuck him into bed. Regardless of their predicament, he wasn't about to abandon his little brother for the night. He hesitated, but ultimately leaned down to kiss the boy on the forehead.  
“Goodnight, Jinki-ah. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave you, ever again,” Kyuhyun vowed. He would keep that promise to his grave.


	7. Wonderstruck

Onew laid in bed with his brother. He tried, but he didn’t remember much of the day that they had just spent together. All he knew was that his brother was beside him, and he felt more whole than he had in a long time. The presence of his brothers warm body caused a surge of energy, bringing the words to the tip of his tongue that he was simply too emotionally fragile to swallow and stow away.

“Kyu-hyung?” he whispered into the pitch black. “Are you awake?”

He was. Kyuhyun opened his eyes but it didn’t make much of a difference. He turned to his side to face Onew in response. There was a pause while Onew closed his eyes and tried his best to cement this moment in his mind like a memory branded into his consciousness. Despite being dead silent, Onew could hear his deafening heartbeat and the sound of Kyuhyun’s breath, and as Onew listened, he felt himself becoming more and more grounded.

Kyuhyun was used to his brother’s silence. Onew would often call for him without ever saying anything, and Kyuhyun knew that this silent attention was a comfort to his little brother. So he laid there silently. He was reminiscing over the times this had happened in their childhood when suddenly.

A soft pair of unsure, but decided lips pressed against his. Onew was so cold, as if his lips were drained of warmth, but there was also a sweetness, an altogether innocence. Before Kyuhyun could register what had just happened, Onew pulled away. He was thankful for the darkness that eliminated the possibility for eye contact, but averted his eyes anyways when he spoke.

“I’m sorry. I had to do that… just once,” Onew’s shallow whispered breaths spread to Kyuhyun’s neck, and with that, any and all self control or willpower Kyuhyun had left withered and died right in that moment. All of the voices inside his head that once had been screaming “no” were silent, and he wasn’t about to go searching for them. He reached out and tipped Onew’s chin upwards, parting his lips to slide them right between his brothers.

To say that Onew was shocked or surprised would be an understatement. He was completely _wonderstruck_.

Stunned into immobility, Onew instinctively relaxed into his hyungs mouth, reciprocating the open mouthed kiss that had only ever existed in his wildest dreams.

 

_Oh my god_

_Holy fuck_

_Yes_

_Jinki-ah_

_Kyuhyun, hyung_

 

The collective thought bubble was a hurricane of incomprehensible and fierce sensations, feelings and curse words flying like the winds, and they were kissing in the rain of the storm. It felt like they were exercising a reflex together- one that hadn’t been activated in centuries, a completely natural reaction that resounded deep in their respective cores.

Despite all of this, the creeping doubt that plagued Onew’s mind made itself known. Against everything in his being, he pulled away, and the two boys held each other, foreheads resting together as they struggled to catch their breath. “Kyuhyun-ah… don't do this just because you… you feel guilty, or something… okay? Because it's okay, you don't have to-”

“No talking,” Kyuhyun managed to whisper in between breaths, staring at Onew’s wet lips before going right back in for the kiss. His body yearned for more contact with Onew’s, probably a result of all the moments in the past he had repressed this desire, so he rolled on top of his brother, effectively but gently.

Kyuhyun sucked on his brother’s lower lip and felt it swell up, making Onew moan and exhale shallow breaths into Kyuhyun’s mouth. Their tongues touched, going back and forth, chasing each other aimlessly. Kyuhyun was almost frowning, completely engrossed with experiencing his brother fully, and Onew, completely flooded with emotions, set his tears free. This, in this exact moment was what they both wanted, and they could tell; the lust as heavy and powerful as a drug running through veins that shared the same blood.

Kyuhyun pulled his brother so that they were both upright on their knees on the bed, so as to fully embrace each other. Their movement activated the motion sensor night light, returning their sense of sight. Kyuhyun felt Onew pulling off his shirt and followed suit.

Every touch felt both new and familiar at the same time, but all equally as thrilling. Kyuhyun was careful not to even brush against his brothers forearms; he absolutely could not risk hurting his brother ever again. They caressed each other, feeling each other's skin in a way they never had before, and never imagined they would. Onew couldn't believe that he could make his brother feel as good as Kyuhyun made him feel, but the moans, purrs and curses that danced on the elders breath said otherwise. Kyuhyun craned his neck around and began to kiss and mark his brother’s exposed neck, reaching his arms around to clutch at the boys back.

Similar to the arm incident, Onew couldn’t help but respond to the pain that emanated from where his brother desperately meant to close the gap between their bodies. Onew shuddered in an electric vibration, odd enough that Kyuhyun took notice. Pulling away, he held Onew’s shoulders and moved the boy to inspect his back. He felt a wave of nausea at what he saw.

Blotches of purple and blue decorated Onew’s backside and outlined his protruding spine.

“Oh my god, Jinki…” Onew could see his brother’s eyes widen at the sight. Kyuhyun leapt across the room to turn on the lamp and what he saw broke his heart instantly.

He touched the spots as gently as a butterfly and felt that they were in fact swollen bruises, but Onew didn’t flinch. He cherished any and all of his hyung’s touches. After all, he didn’t know how long he’d have to enjoy them.

“How did this happen? Did you do this to yourself too?” Kyuhyun felt tears welling.

“No, that’s nothing, I just fell last night… I think I fainted or… something, I don’t know,” Onew tried to redirect his brother’s attention away from the ugly marks, with no such luck.

“Are you sure you’re ok with this? You weren’t yourself today, _and_ you're hurt."

“I’m okay now though… I’m me, I promise! I’m me _because_ I'm with you,” Onew whispered, insistently pawing at his hyungs bare chest. Kyuhyun still looked concerned. “I've been dreaming of this my entire life, Kyu-hyung.” Onew hesitated but quietly added, “and besides… I would endure… I mean, anything, to… to be with you…” he averted his eyes. Too far? Probably, but he meant it completely.

Kyuhyun’s face went blank as the weight of his brother’s words sunk in. Onew felt the atmosphere become heavy and serious, which was the last thing he wanted. While his brother was still absorbing the shock of his words, Onew gently pushed his brother back onto the bed and Kyuhyun followed easily. When Kyuhyun finally found his voice, his brother just shushed him in gentle breaths of reassurance.

Kyuhyun couldn't believe his eyes, as he watched Onew eagerly get on the floor and rise to his knees before him. He looked up vertically to make eye contact with his hyung, and Kyuhyun’s heart fluttered at the familiar glint in his dongsaeng's wide eyes. Onew stared and admired the growing erection contained in his brothers sweatpants and breathed his hot breath on the area. He kissed the hardness through the fabric, making Kyuhyun tip his head back. It was evident that he was going to have to exercise some serious self control. Kyuhyun looked down, and there he was; his little, baby brother down on his knees, just for him. To please him. He had never felt more alive or powerful.

The ghost of a voice in his head was saying _this is so wrong you can't do this this is fucked up._ Kissing- even making out could still be spun to fit some innocent narrative, but this… this was a step further. A small part of him couldn't forget that, but a louder, darker part of him just didn't care.

Onew raised his hands, but stopped himself before making contact. He looked up at his brother.

“Is this okay?” Onew looked up, and saw his brother nodding, with a facial expression he’d never seen him make before. Kyuhyun reached out to run his fingers through his dongsaeng’s blonde tresses, as Onew pulled down his hyung’s pants and boxer briefs. Kyuhyun let out a gasp when the open air hit his throbbing cock, and physically flinched when Onew gripped it firmly in his familiar, warm hand. Kyuhyun was still watching when Onew puckered his lips and released a string of saliva onto his cock, which he then placed his tongue flat on, and ran down Kyuhyun’s full length.

The sensation elicited a deeper pleasure than Kyuhyun could ever remember experiencing. Onew wanted to prolong the blowjob, but could wait no longer. Impatient, he went ahead and began to suck on the head of his brothers length.

“Oh… _fuck_ ,” Kyuhyun moaned out, and the response made Onew’s lips curve into a smile around Kyuhyun’s width. He began to bob his head in the classic motion, every stroke Kyuhyun feeling his brothers tightly wrapped lips, flat tongue against the underside, even the very back of his throat.

“Jinki-ah!” Kyuhyun cried out his brothers name in repeated bursts, his abs contracting reflexively in response to the delicious sensations. The sound of his hyung, calling out his real name in such pleasure brought a joy and pride to Onew he had never felt before.

“Does that feel good hyung?” Onew gasped, as he came up for air, continuing his strokes with both hands.

“So good,” he whimpered. “Ahh, yesssss,” he dragged out his words so that they became one with his gasps. Onew slowed to listen to the sounds of his brothers arousal.

“Don't stop don't stop!” Kyuhyun begged, running his fingers through his brothers hair, staring down at the shining blonde waves. His breathing was laboured, his brow furrowed deep as his darkest desires were sated.

Kyuhyun felt his climax rising, but he wasn't yet ready for their night to end. “Jinki-ah,” he interrupted.

“Get up.

Let me taste you."


End file.
